Always on my mind.

This might not even make any sense to anyone, I just need to write.. I feel like it is gonna help me get this shit off my mind.

Certain people that have been in my life, all of my life, I dont see anymore. Its been this way for a while. There are people that think I will eventually have this person in my life.. Which may or may not be true.. All I know is that it definetly will not be anytime soon. This person never truely knew me. This person pushed me out of his life because of the way he demanded things be, the way he treated me and others that I love.

For these things I will never forgive him. I will never forget the way he made me feel. Like I wasnt good enough. Like I didnt live up to the standards he created. Well what I recently figured out was that no matter what I did it was never going to be good enough for him. Neither of us were.

I learned a lot of things from this person. Things that will follow me through life, both good and bad things. This person taught me how to laugh, he taught me how to cry. He also taught me how to stand on my own two feet. He taught me that there is two people I can depend on in my life, my mom, and myself. He showed me how to be kind and loving. He showed me hate and anger. He showed me jealousy and he showed me sorrow. He showed me sensitivity and he showed me beligerence. He showed me faith and betrayal. He showed me charm and he showed me cruelty. Most importantly he showed me pain and how to survive it.

For all these things I am grateful because all of this made me the person I am today.

It really is true that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

I think about him everyday and Im sure I always will.

brandi.