So to speak..

So yesterday when I went to order my new bank card and get a temporary one and what not.. the woman at the bank saw the last transaction on my card was the $100 deposit for skydiving in OC.

She didn't think I made that transaction, when I told her it was me, she seemed dissapointed that my card wasn't stolen. No comment about that.

Bitch.

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What does it mean to be on the fence about something?.. ((this is ironic cuz i have a bruise the size of a grapefruit on the side of my thigh from tryna get my fat ass over a literal fence last weekend)).

I mean i know the meaning of the phrase but what if your comfortable on the fence? What if you like it on the fence?.. The thing is eventually you gotta fall one way or the other I guess.. Im just tryna figure out the right time to jump so I don't end up landing on my face.

Hmph. This may not be the best of choices but I may just spend a few months on the fence until one of two things happens.. I fall, one way or the other, or I get pushed forward. Or pulled rather.

Im just as scared to fall forward as I am to fall back.. But I can't sit up here forever.. Eventually I'll get tired of just sitting here.

Last weekend, I jumped off the fence, forward, I landed on my feet. But it still left a huge bruise from climbing. Was the bruise worth the leap forward? What else could that leap cost me? What has climbing up here in the first place going to cost me?

The road on the way to the fence was smooth and paved. But looking down from up here theres a valley of jagged rocks to land on..

Im hoping to sit up here until just the right moment and gracefully leap to the other side.

If you know me, you know how un-graceful I am.

Is that right moment where Im safe to jump ever gonna come?

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My Rodeo better be home to mama by happy hour Friday.

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Yours Truly,

brandi